A Stranger at the Door

I went door knocking this morning on behalf of The Salvation Army for their annual Red Shield appeal. I saw an ad in the local paper and thought "yeah, I could do that". I had hoped I could rope a friend in to come along for moral support and maybe even receipt-writing duties, but my friends were all busy. Either that, or they're actually all heartless and selfish. And liars. So I took my map and my little bag and wearing my special red lanyard, I began to knock on my designated doors. I soon realised that knocking on people's doors prior to 10am on a Sunday morning doesn't always illicit a response. But kudos to those who opened their doors with bed hair, pre make-up faces and brightly coloured dressing gowns.

The vast majority of the people who opened their doors gave a donation - whether it was $1.20 or $20. They were literally the two ends of my scale. It was strange to unlatch people's gates and let myself onto someone else's property, not knowing who the heck lived there or what response I would get. But it turns out people aren't so scary after all. Out of the few who didn't give a donation, most of them said that they had already donated the day before. There were only two people who didn't. The first was a lady probably not much older than myself. She answered the door of her slightly derelict house with a genuine but slightly embarrassed smile. I explained that I was collecting for the Red Shield appeal and she awkwardly replied, "oh, we don't really have any money at the moment". I assured her that was fine and wished her a good day but even now, several hours later, I can still see her face in my mind. She didn't seem at all like she was making excuses not to give. In fact, I actually sensed that she really wanted to give, but just couldn't. I think she actually apologised and as I walked away, I wondered if I shouldn't turn back and give her some of the money I had collected so far. Or maybe I could have told her that she shouldn't apologise to me, but rather I should apologise to her. For living in the same post code as people like her who are desperately struggling to make ends meet, and not caring enough to do anything about it. There are people all around us who are doing it tough and not eating proper meals and barely scraping by and we just shrug our shoulders and say the government should do more to help them. Or maybe they should just work harder. The second person was a man who told me "we're just not in a position to give, sorry". The door wire was that stuff you can't see through from the outside, so I have no idea who he was or what sort of expression he had on his face. Maybe that's for the better. It made me sad though. To think that there's people living in relatively well-to-do areas of Melbourne that can't spare $1 to give away.

On the positive side though, I did have a nice chat with an old lady at one of the houses who donated $20, and I had the feeling that it's not often she gets visitors knocking on her door. I kind of got that feeling with most people though, as if they were surprised by a little bit of unexpected human interaction. Quite a few people must have seen my walking up their driveways and opened the door with money already in hand, eager to donate. One guy in particular stands out in my mind. He was kinda rough looking, with tattoos up his arm, scruffy hair and cheap-looking clothes. His house looked pretty run down and it was obvious this wasn't a guy swimming in money. He went off and came back to me with maybe $2 in change and said "sorry it's not much, but it's all I've got". I couldn't help but think of the story in the Bible where Jesus is standing in the temple, watching all the people putting money into the treasury and there's all these rich people coming up and dropping in large amounts of money and walking away patting themselves on the back as they go. Then this poor widow walks up and drops two little coins into the treasury. Two almost worthless little coins. And Jesus says, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on." 

Although I was taken aback by the state of some of the houses I visited and the people struggling to live in them, I finished the lap of my designated block feeling like my faith in humanity had been somehow restored. Yes, there are great needs in our communities and lots of people falling through the cracks, but there are also multitudes of everyday, open and generous people out there who are willing to give up a few of their precious dollars for the sake of others. And if my conversation with two Salvation Army representatives afterwards was any indication, there are also many more people out there who are willing to give up far more than just spare change in order to practically and lovingly support the poor and downcast in our world today. I feel like a tidal wave of radical compassion and humanity is starting to swell deep under the preverbial ocean and I want nothing more than to be caught up in it when it finally breaks...    
   

Awaken the Dead

O Lord, take the wax from my ears

drain the doubt from my mind

open my sleepings eyes

let not my sight be clouded

pry open my heart with all the gentleness and force you can muster

awaken the dead within me

give me a word

give me a vision

give me a sign

remind me that I am seen

remind me that I am loved

forgive my mind, so quick to forget

forgive my feet, so prone to wander

I am setting myself down and won't move an inch

waiting for your whisper to scream it's not over

Encouragement: High fives vs Powerade

I recently took part in the Melbourne Marathon (before you get too amazed, it was the half marathon, not the full one!) and was very impressed not only by the thousands of people who turned up to run for a ridiculous length of time but also by all the people who came along simply to cheer all the runners on. As I ran up St Kilda road, at least 14kms into my journey, there were two little girls standing on the side of the road with their mother, presumably there waiting to cheer on their dad. As I ran past, they stuck out their hands and as I gave them both a high five, one of them said something like "you're awesome/you can do it" (it's all a bit of a blur now!) and in that moment I realised the true power of sincere encouragement. We so often forget how much of an impact a kind word, a smile or a pat on the back can have on another person. In that simple act, that little girl gave a sweaty lady in a bright pink top more energy to keep going than the cup of blue Powerade she had downed at the last drink station.

As I ran further along that road, I noticed more and more people standing on the sidelines watching, clapping and cheering people on. Sure, a lot of them had come to see a family member or friend and had made signs specifically for that person ie: "run fast daddy" or "you can do it ...insert name here..." but there were also a whole bunch of people who dressed up in matching outfits and made generic signs saying things like "you're amazing", who clapped and shouted and encouraged complete strangers like myself as we ran past. I was quite touched really. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I'm sure there were better places these people could have been, but they had voluntarily come along to encourage all the people brave/stupid enough to run 21.1 or 42kms. I'm sure I ran faster that day than in my previous training runs not only because it was the big day and I had a bit of adrenaline kicking in, but because I was powered on by the encouragement of people who believed in what I was doing and supported me even though I was just a complete stranger passing them by.

Never underestimate the power of encouragement. You might just spur on somebody who would otherwise give up...

Fear

Ok, so here goes my first blog rant or ramble...I'll let you decide. I read an extremely inspiring interview with Alison Thompson in the ever-amazing "mook" Dumbo Feather, pass it on (if you're thinking "what the?" then go to www.dumbofeather.com - it may just change your life) and she said something very interesting. She finished the interview by saying "I had no fear any more. That's the key to everything; if you take the fear out then nothing can hurt you and it doesn't stop you from going forward. It's the same in every job and in every life; confidence is taking the fear out and going for it". It makes more sense in the context of the interview and everything that preceeded that quote, but anyway it got me thinking about fear and how crippling it is to human life. I mean, when you really think about it, the reason any person on this planet doesn't do something they want to do or ought to do is fear. It may disguise itself as something else like reason or caution or being sensible but at the core, it's pure fear. Think about it. The main reason why we never reach our potential and attempt to turn our biggest dreams into reality is because we're afraid of failure. We're afraid of looking stupid. We're afraid that we'll pour all our energy and money into something we're passionate about, only to have it not work out. We're afraid of being hurt so we keep people at arm's length. We're afraid of terrorist attacks and eating carbs and being uncomfortable. Fear is possibly the most debilitating force on this planet. That's probably a big call and I have no evidence to back that up, but this is my blog ramble, not the encyclopedia Brittanica.

Anyway, it's actually very hard (perhaps impossible) to control fear in that we do not choose what we are and aren't fearful of, it's something we inherently feel in response to specific things. BUT (yes, I realise you should never begin a sentence with "but", but again, it's my blog and I can do what I want)...what if we could learn not to not feel fear, but to move through it, to act through it, to acknowledge it but go head anyway?

For example: I have wanted to travel overseas (particularly to Uganda) and do volunteer work for a while now but due to "circumstances", I have not yet turned this into reality. I could cite several reasons for this - lack of money, indecisiveness, being on a year-long rental lease, impending events like weddings etc etc. There are plenty of excuses I could use to reasonably justify why I am still in Melbourne working in hospitality rather than somewhere else in the world doing something that I'm passionate about. However, if I strip back these excuses and look to where they come from, I find fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of going somewhere alone where I don't know the culture. Fear of being outside my comfort circle. Fear of being in debt. Fear of people thinking I'm crazy. Fear of annoying my housemates by forcing them to have to find someone to fill my room. Fear of disappointing people because I won't be there for their wedding, or their child's first birthday or that night when everything falls apart. Fear of taking a leap of faith. None of these are physical barriers. None of these fears can physically stop me getting on a plane. I could borrow some money for a ticket and be on my way. These fears are only mental barriers, yet we justify them to such a degree that we begin to view them as concrete obstacles that we have no conceivable way of getting around. I can still be afraid of all these things but do it anyway. Fears are just excuses as to why we can't do something that we actually can. We just need to lose our fears or take them with us for the ride...

Just because I like it.

Okay, this is the part where I admit I'm actually not as technologically advanced as I had thought and begin to experiment with how this blog thing actually works. I am going to attempt to post a photo I took of my favourite piece in the Louvre; Psyche and Cupid. Just because I like it.

Hello cyberspace!

Hello everyone and no one at the same time. Ok, so I guess this is just another blog. There are millions more just like it. I do not pretend to be any more unique, thought-provoking, creative or entertaining than all the other people out there. I don't mind if the number of people reading my blog is a big fat zero. The real purpose of this blog is to attempt to take all that is jumbled up inside me and somehow order it and articulate it into writing. Not an easy task, but I'm up for the ride if you are too. That's if there's actually a "you" out there reading this. Anyway, I'm basically just going to post rants and rambles about what's going around in my head on any particular day to try and make a little more sense of it all and bounce thoughts and ideas off myself and cyberspace at large. I may even get creative and put some songs and bits and pieces on here too but I have a hunch it will mostly be a somewhat entertaining case of verbal diarrhoea. Enjoy.